Wednesday, September 23
was browsing through some of my earliest posts of this blog, back in jan 2004. Its interesting to read some of the things that i've written. All I wld say is that i was very yg back then..haha..but i was surprised to read a particular entry where i mentioned about the purpose of my life...an extract of what was written:
gp today was so interesting. teacher questioned about our purpose.. it started like this :we had to write the question and answer it and then question the answer.
socrates(the philosopher): why are you in tb21?
me: for gp lesson.
socrates: why do you go for the lesson?
me: it's in my timetable.
socrates: why is it in your timetable?
me: it's a sub tt i take.
socrates: why do you take the sub?
me: it's compulsory for university admission.
socrates: why do you want to enter u?
me: to get a degree.
socrates: why do you want a degree?
me: to get a good job.
socrates: why do you want to get a job?
me: to get money.
socrates: why do you need money
me: to survive.
socrates: why do you need to survive?
i stopped there.. and it was time up. looking back, it would be so hard to answer that question.. why do we need to survive?? now that i think of it, the best ans tt i can think of is.. I SURVIVE FOR GOD, MY FRIENDS, AND MY FAMILY.
I was quite surprised when i read this. To think that back then, when I was not a Christian yet, I actually wrote about the basic need for survival is for God's purpose! I think it was after I read the Purpose Driven Life that I received this understanding but I thank for the little faith which was already deposited in my heart even back then. I went on to read about the post where I mentioned about my salvation after my first church service in FCBC. I was drawn by the innocence displayed in me back then. The faith of a young Christian whose one desire is to build on the relationship with God and everything else in this world becomes insignificant. It was a reminder of the first love of God that I had when i received salvation. And i pray that even on as i'm being made holy right now, i will always rmb and have this innocence and faith of a child
jel; 11:47 pm
Tuesday, September 22
Word of wisdom:
The proud and greedy never rest; the poor and humble in spirit rest in great peace. Anyone who is not completely free from the grip of his own vanity is easily tempted and is toppled by small, trifling things.
I pray that my spirit will be poor and humble.
I learnt the importance of continuous praise from pastor’s sermon last sunday. Even if the situation may not be in my favour, I should continue to praise Him. Praising Him continuously till something in the spiritual realm changes and my heart and the peace of God resides in my heart. It is a truth which is valuable to me as I felt needed to praise Him on many occasions when I feel things are not going well and the understanding on the need to continue praising Him till something changes within me brought a deeper understanding of praise.
I thank God for the past 4 days. Somehow the days are all packed and although I didn’t have much of a time to revise my work, it was a fulfilling 4 days being in the company of good friends from different areas of my life. Sendoff@airport, dance, family dinner, BBQ, KBox. I won’t take this busyness for granted but give thanks for having these people in my life for me to spend time with and to fellowship as well. Indeed, through this half of the sem, I've learnt not to complain about how packed my schedule is or that I don't have enough time to rest but instead, I'm learning to appreciate the commitments and the activities God has placed in my life through my family and friends. He placed me here not to live life alone but in the company of people so that relationships can be established and built upon.
A thankful heart and spirit....
jel; 8:00 pm
Friday, September 18
It's finally the end of the first half of the sem. Can finally take a short breather. Indeed, even as I had foreseen a packed sem during the start of the sem, it wasn't until I've been through that I understood how the experience was lk. But I thank God that He kept me well during these weeks. Even though I didn't have time to revise my work, I could complete the work that I needed to hand in and even more.
3 good friends would be gone for overseas by the end of today. The next half of the sem wld feel different without them.
jel; 4:33 pm
Tuesday, September 15
Was chatting with some of the 30th scmc pple who were preparing the recruitment drive. Somehow I kind of missed the times of staying late or overnight in schools, preparing for events. But just as I've felt I miss science club activities, this is an option which I had to accept and learn to embrace the different areas which God has placed in my life. Indeed, HIs plans for me are what's best for me and I can't deny that I'm glad with the commitments and the company of friends which God has placed in me. I could say He is preparing me in moving on with a different phase with a different agenda, one which I'm enjoying and maximizing to make the most out of.
Trusting in faith the plans God has for me
jel; 10:18 pm
Had been busy ever since school started. But the strange thing is its not like i’m laden with many commitments or that school work is overwhelming. In fact, i don’t really have a chance to revise my work thus far. I’ve never felt that packed during school term before. Almost every day i will end up reaching home late and weekends are almost packed back-to-back. But thankfully, I’m not stressed out in terms of academic even though there’s little free time for me to put my attention on it. I would had been stressed out by now if it was in the past. I thank God it has been a fulfilling time for the past few weeks, even if its just spending time catching up with friends.
Even during these few weeks, there had been unhappy moments in school when i’m dissatisfied with some issues and also stressful moments. During one of those days, after having to brood over all these matters, i prayed and sensed God telling that instead of hoping to change situations around me, i can change what is within me. Sometimes situations might be hard to change, but whats possible is to change my attitude or mentality towards these matters. Suddenly, it brought peace within me as i was strengthened not to be affected by the things of this world but be strongly guarded in His ways and values.
Sunday’s sermon impacted me. The Lord convicted me of the time I spend with Him. For the past few weeks, the only time I get to spend quiet time was on my journey to school which tend to be inconsistent and unproductive. I am aware of that but out of convenience, I continued to stick to that and try to make the best of the situation. It struck me when pastor used the analogy of a hungry man adjusting his path and intentionally seek his way to find food. I could totally relate to that sort of situation. So it was put back into context of being hungry for God, I question myself if I ever did a similar thing? I seriously doubt so, at least for the past few weeks. If my life is to reflect my hunger for God, it must first of all be shown through my desire to have this quiet time with Him. I thank God for pastor’s sharing on quiet time and for recommending living life. I read the QT and was very refreshed by the words shared. Definitely looking forward to greater growth and intimacy with God. Indeed, I believe what pastor has shared that with quality quiet time spent, it’ll first make a difference to one’s well-being and growth and eventually as a church.
jel; 12:03 am
