Friday, August 26


i know u lk this song a lot after i introduced it to u....the melody caught my attention initially...i thought it is a great song....glad u lk this song too....

Because Of You
Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you

jel; 11:47 pm



back to the comp again...using the comp at a very weird time and situatio,,,,i can't even see clearly now cause i've taken out my contact lenses..dun explain why now...and there's no need to explain either...haha...if u have read the sunday times last week, u wld know abt the lastest jap puzzle craze...something called sudoku...its very addictive once u get the hang of it....can go websudoku.com for free puzzles to try out...its really very fun...

listening to a grp of pple whom i dun know having a conversation now...and its very hard to type this too cause i can't see clearly and is straining my eyes to look at the screen..so dun blame me if there's lotsa spelling mistakes....

jel; 11:39 pm


Thursday, August 25


yest was cohesion for us...it didn't really started off well cause we were supposed to be able to leave camp on tue night but a sudden mode swing of our branch 2ic caused us to stay back till wed n leave...it was noon before we can book out...end up we have to rush home and change before we can go for cohesion...a lot of last min changes....but its alright since we ended up enjoying ourselves...went for bowling at marina square....first time bowling with this grp of pple...and its the first time i've gotten a 3 digit score (if i'm not wrong) and that was the highest score...so u can guess the rest of them aren't that gd players either...played pool after that too while some of them went to play lan...i'm so out of touch with such stuff that i dun even know how to spell the name of the game they're playing....

dinner was at changing appetites....a new restaurant at marina square....thes are variety of food available is quite wide and the selection is quite unique...will be bringing more pple there in the future...esp since now i have the discount card....took a cab later with 3 others to zouk...happened to be the nus pageant that night....saw a few familiar faces...mostly ex-njcians....anw, the crowd only came in after 11 so it didn't feel that the place was full of students....its my first time at mambo nite...read abt the dance steps in the straits times before, but observing how many others there know the moves too was quite an interesting sight....

was quite shagged when i came back.....but it was a gd night out...woke up only not too long ago...today is another free day but i've a medical appt later at nsc...will be back to camp only on fri afternoon and out again a few hours later...a bit lame but its alright....

jel; 10:54 am


Friday, August 19


friday is here! finally...after a pretty long week this week...preparing for a technical recall on sun...thats why part of sun wld be gone...sad...but i'm looking forward to wed cause my branch is having cohesion, so everyone will have a day off and take this opportunity to bond with one another...going kbox for lunch, followed by bowling at marina square and finally dinner at kenny rogers...oh and after that prob going zouk...this is the first time we're having a gathering outside camp, so it'll be interesting to know more abt them other than their working habits....but i hope the scenerio wld not be too akward with s3 ard..for those who doesn't know what/who is s3, s3 is our 'boss', an LTC who may seem demanding but is a person who is truly worthy of our respect....anyway, the following morning i'll be clearing a 1/2 day off so that i can a late night's out....afternoon i'll be having a medical appt at nsc, so i'll be out of camp from tue night to thur night...i hope i wun get to miss ahm on sept 11 due to my infection...i've been missing out on a few ahm trainings and i really want to cure the illness asap...

its quite a tough week considering that i'll have to endure the behaviour of some colleagues...have to constantly keep myself calm and remind myself not to flare up...its really to control one's emotions when the going gets tough...esp when they are irritating and their views clashes with yours...but i'll just treat this as yet another opportunity to develop my character...

saw a part of the nus campus life just now...vibrant and lively...groups of young adults hanging out tog, engaging in various activities....really want to experience campus life...of course its going to be hard to cope with much more activities but there's really no harm getting to know more friends and having a more vibrant uni life....

sometimes, i really feel very irritated when things dun go accordingly to my plan...there's this sense of discomfort and uneasiness in me when i can't follow my plans accordingly...and sometimes, i'll feel guilty when regiments set are not being followed strictly...i hate the feeling whenever i divert away from my schedules...it just shows that my determination is not strong enough...but sometimes its due to external factors that my schedules can't be followed...its not that bad at this moment, i'll just have to ensure it doesn't get worst at this moment....just have to plan more carefully...but i dun wish to have my life fall into the trap of being too structured and planned out....something which i'm still working at...

my entry is super long...and i know that the various paragraphs are not coherent cause they're different ideas which had came across my mind at various periods of the week and i've decided to bring them all up in this entry....long night ahead...not sleeping so early...

jel; 10:34 pm


Sunday, August 14


haven't blogged for the past few days...has been pretty slack most of the time...rented and watched 8 movies throughout the entire week....that doesn't include the 2 movies i watched at the cinemas....felt lk a movie maniac...getting a bit sick of watching movies now...went to watch wedding crashers on wed...simply hilarious, esp the hormone-raging female character....bewitched was funny in a different sense though, but i didn't quite feel the magic in the movie....

went out with the 4 of them yest...finally, its so hard getting the 5 of us tog...but nevertheless it was achievable....was at marina square's carl's junior for dinner...if its not for alwyn who is dying to try them out, i dun think we wld be actually waiting so long for seats....but i was craving for their burgers too....past by the new smu building yest...saw students and freshmen there having orientation...really dun know how it feels lk to study there in future....its still quite unknown....but i hope it wun be a wrong choice...can imagine going orchard during breaks or after lessons for a cup of coffee or catch a movie...and i just realised that the new cathay building will be opened next week...and its within five min walking distance from the sch...can foresee it being a favourite hangout for smu students....

being exposed to lots of punk, alternative rock music for the past few days...added songs from good charlotte, green day, alter bridge etc into my ipod...slight shift in interest....looking forward to more of such songs in future....even sl was surprised that i knew more abt such songs yest....

being saving 10 bucks per week...by christmas i wld have saved $230 to spend...can be used for my yr-end shopping cum christmas presents...must get a new pair of sneakers...oh, and no, i'm not going to stock up my uni clothes now...smu students dun go for fashion parades when they are in campus....

jel; 5:42 pm


Tuesday, August 9


today is sucky....was supposed to go marina last night for the concert-by-the-bay as well as catch the fireworks at the countdown party...but didn't go in the end...today was supposed to go cto town to watch a movie and prob pop by esplanade to watch the live telecast of the parade n catch more fireworks...but felt sick suddenly this morning...having a bad sore throat and feeling feverish...and that spoilt my mood in going out...so in the end i just stayed at home to rest and watch vcd...it was just a horrible feeling staying at home on a public holiday but i guess i need that rest too...sometimes maybe i feel i have my progs too well planned...arranged one after the otherso much so that i just feel tired thinking abt the progs scheduled ahead of me...but it always feel gd to have time for oneself....

felt much better at night after l the stuff i've taken throughout the day to make myself recover...sneaked out of house and hitch a ride from my mum to borders..orchard road is pretty dull and quiet today, maybe cause everyone are at the main celebration venues or stayed at home to catch the parade...at least the trip down borders make me feel much better...always lk these short night trips to borders cause its usu quieter and more conducive for browsing....

have being pretty critical of stuff lately...i dun know why it'll bring abt such responses...i obviously dun wish to be lk this but i can't help myself...i shld just rid myself of any other thoughts that will affect my mind....

oh, hope everyone had a much better holiday than i did...

jel; 11:09 pm


Sunday, August 7


met a friend today...had time for a little chat...found a surprising info from him..i was slightly shocked when i heard it...maybe because i didn't expect it...he gave some of his comments and thoughts....reflecting from those, i fully agree to the stuff he said...but sometimes pple just do things that even they themselves wld not have us done...come to think of it, its pretty strange that they do not follow the norm...but the fact is, i have to admit i'm one of them...come to think of it, i had hoped things wld have gone accordingly to what he had said, but its not possible...whatever it is, i was surprised he managed to give such a insightful thought but too bad, it wun make a difference at this moment anymore...although i wished he had said earlier...

things have gone too smoothly...maybe so smooth that it becomes boredom...however, too much conflicts wldn't be a nice thing either...sounds contradicting but i must say its hard to strike a balance...life is just lk that...full of abnormalities and difficulties...deal with it man....

jel; 6:50 pm


Saturday, August 6


was supposed to be at yishun celebration@heartlands for the whole but luckily, we were not required there for the whole day, so i ended up leaving at one plus...btw, there was nothing much for us to do there too, so its a wise decision to let us leave early....my blood was really near boiling point today...simply hated how certain pple speak and carry out their work....its juz so crude and mean...ok, i can expect everyone to be nice and friendly but its simply so unreasonably...who cares anyway? i'll jus leave without regrets next yr, or prob he'll leave before i do...and i'm so glad i dun need to work in this field next time and nv will....not that i look down on certain professions but certain groups of pple really spoil the image...talking abt spoiling the image himself....luckily, those with higher authority have my respect....but it is gd experience to work with different kinds of pple, just that i dun think i'll have much opportunity to do that in future, i hope....

sourcing for jap classes to attend...always wanted to take up new courses to attend...always wanted to learn and since now jason also have the same interest, we have decided to go tog...and there's a possiblity that we may go for more courses even after we ord...all kinds of courses even lk dance classes....getting excited even at the thought of it....

had a lazy afternoon...will be spending most of the time out of camp next week...mon afternoon, tue, wed and fri....

jel; 5:51 pm


Friday, August 5


just a reflection for the past few days..wed was a well spoent day...very meaningful and eventful...went to watch charlie and the chocolate factory....it was a joyful movie...full of laughter and entertainment...although i was a bit distracted somewhere in the movie but i lk that little bit of distraction...kept reflecting on the things that happened on wed throughout the next 2 days...i dun care what others feel abt it but i think things will happen naturally....although i enjoy every moment, i know certain things can be within our control and i know we have means to do that...whatever it is, i'll always put u first in all our considerations....

had dinner at jack's place. happy birthday to u!

jel; 11:38 pm


Wednesday, August 3


took off today...time to slack a bit, relax and enjoy the break...the next few days i'll be involved in the ndp celebrations...sat going down to yishun for the whole day...then mon going down there again for half a day and i can fall out from there at two...and i can have tue and wed for myself after that...i think i'm going to enjoy myself for the next whole week...can be away from camp most of the time...but i guess thats abt all i can enjoy myself....

going to watch charlie & the chocolate factory later...was supposed to go kbox but this plan was postponed....nvm since i've been wanting to watch the movie too...

jel; 11:22 am