Wednesday, May 6

Recently a friend suddenly commented to me that I remind her of a typical gay friend’s best friend. It was meant to be a general reference but I didn’t ask her why she thought that way. Her remark sparked off reminders of the past when I had people commenting to me similar remarks but I sometimes wonder what was in me/ what I do that cause them to feel that way. I rmb in the past when I try to ‘correct’ myself by being very careful about how I speak, behave, react just so that I can conform to the ‘correct’ way that a guy should speak or act. But it soon became uncomfortable for me cause I cannot be who I am, having to fit into a particular image perceived by the world. But I thank God that He keeps me secure in who I am in Him and that has always been a reminder for me whenever someone makes similar comments. I would listen to constructive remarks and change but not to the extent of being who I am not. Through these years, I’ve become more comfortable and relaxed to behave who I am now and to allow people to know who I am instead of fitting into an image which I want them to perceive me as. That's why I wasn’t affected when my friend commented that on Sunday but it let off a string of thoughts and the reminder.

The holidays have officially started for me! I look forward to this holiday due to my involvement in RAG and Science camp as a OGL as well as my school attachment. Am excited over what God can work through me in all these events and what I would learn and contribute in these areas.

jel; 11:08 pm