Monday, June 30

mentioned abt coming back from scamp on friday and its back to sch today for the full force for rag..can't believe its only 5 more weeks to rag!!! it'll be very busy 5 weeks for me but come to think of it, i haven't been resting much since pre-camp till now so it doesn't make a diff...

may the Lord give me the strength to pull through this period, not only because i'm not feeling that well now but also because i want to fulfill all that he has intended for me and thats my desire..i know its going to be tough given the environment i'm in but i'm going to trust and walk by faith cause i still believe He'll support me through all the way..

jel; 10:33 pm

Saturday, June 28

This entire period was spent at scamp. As mentioned before, I was looking forward to this camp even though I was not feeling well. First, I thank God that on the first day, although there was much shouting and cheering, my throat condition became better and I was able to put my focus and attention in fulfilling my role in the role. The first few days went by when I began to ask God to show me my purpose in this camp cause nothing significant happened and I still have my doubts regarding the way the camp is being carried out and the feelings i always have towards the superficial lifestyle of the people still persists...

It was interesting when during a conversation over dinner when FCBC was casually mentioned that I found out one of my freshies come from ps yo's tribe and another backslided from FCBC 2 yrs ago. Had a short chat with that guy to find out why he backslided. It was occasions like these where I feel a need to pray for many in my group for them to experience the love of God, whether is it for the first time or for a renewed experience...I wouldn't know how i can used by God in their lives right now except to pray that they can indeed feel this love from God

I had an interesting talk last night after clubbing where we started talking about our past relationships and I used that opportunity to share my testimony and how God brought me back to Him through failed relationships. Unsure how receptive the rest of them in group were towards what I shared but I pray that they have caught something through my testimony. After that, jane mentioned to me that she was glad i shared that testimony with the rest of the grp and she began to share abt her own experience with God over her relationship. I was encouraged by what she shared but more importantly but I was just glad I can be used by Him simply just to share a testimony and how in the midst of the people I see ard camp that I can find someone who commits her life to God.

Felt a little lost during the aftermath of the camp cause 5 days of high-intensity activities came to an end. Though I was tired and lethargic, I know I will miss the days I spent with this group of new friends. There were moments during the camp where I pondered over whether to continue to put my commitment in science club in the coming academic yr but as mentioned earlier, I am concerned over the high commitment level needed and more imptly, as mentioned earlier, whether this would be smthng God has planned for me.

The next few weeks will be a full commitment towards RAG as it progresses to critical phase of the project. Will also be looking forward to His purpose for me.

jel; 1:06 am

Tuesday, June 24

in the midst of science camp now...yest was not a bad start..i was feeling much better now as compared to the past week..in fact all the shouting and screaming helped to improve my throat condition..

just before i came for this camp, was feeling a tad tired from having to rush from one place to another and had wanted to have some personal time of my own..but since i have been looking forward to this camp and knowing i have a purpose for this camp, i came for this camp with an open heart to focus on fulfilling my role here..and i'm glad to be able to contribute the most which i can yesterday and it turned up to be able rather fulfilling...

will update more in days to come cause now i'm still in the midst of the camp's activities...will look forward to seeing how I can be used by God for the people around me...

jel; 10:28 am

Wednesday, June 18

just came back from tripod camp today...although i fell sick in the duration of this camp, but i'm thankful for the many things which happen...

I've been looking forward to this camp not only because its a break from school activities but also an opportunity to engage myself with 'meaningful', purposeful activities with students, something which I've always find myself interested in. Although I was sicj, I insisted in fulfilling my role as a facilitator and attend the camp. I'm really thankful for my group members this time round. It didn't take much effort of mine to get them to bond together and I'm really glad to see the initially quieter ones having fun and being more engaged towards the end of the camp and seeing the group transit from strangers to friends.

There was a moment on Tuesday night when I saw the group teasing one another, my heart warmed and a thought came that they are the reason why I want to volunteer as a facilitator for this camp and the reason for me insisting on wanting to stay through this camp although I wasn't feeling well. Although I would say there was a strong attachment to any students as compared to past experiences, but there was continued passion for the works I've been doing. I appreciate being in the more mature group of people in the camp for I find myself in a better position to provide the care and advice these youths need.

Another result of this camp which was memorable to me was how it has allowed me to spend more with lance and know him in a deeper level. I felt there as a breakthrough in our brotherly ties. Personally, up till the camp, I've always felt there was more to lance which I've yet to know, but through many sharing, I've got to know this deeper side of lance. I guess we are now comfortable with sharing with one another about more issues. I thank God for putting in place these intentional opportunities for us to interact...

will be back to sch to continue on rag stuff and some prep work before scamp next week..kept busy but am enjoying the process!

jel; 11:10 pm

Sunday, June 15

Much of this week was spent away from home, from last saturday till this saturday. Didn't have much time of my own through this week but I'm glad that it had been meaningful and that God had arranged my time pretty well such that all the schedules fall nicely in place and that I didn't feel too burned out despite the packed schedule. I'm glad that despite the lack of sleep, I'm still able to keep myself upbeat through most parts of the day, especially through the prep camp...

The coming 2 weeks will be very packed for me as well- 3 days of tripod camp, full RAG commitment for the next 2 days followed by the 5-days Science camp which will start next Sunday night...will depend on the grace of God to pull me through...

jel; 10:45 pm

Sunday, June 8

its been a mad mad weekend..from sat morning till sun evening, i'm practically getting from one place to another, to the pt of rushing at times...but it was rewarding though..just to highlight what happened since last night, met the rag pple with moses for supper before heading off to ecp to stay overnight for this morning's canvassing...i thought i could get some sleep cause today wld be a long day for me, but als, inside the volunteer's tentage, few people were sleeping and the lights were on and pple were moving ard, so basically i didn't get much sleep..it was more lk a 2hr plus of rest instead...'woken' up just before 4 to get to our workplace which was the bag deposit counters...

that was how i started my sunday morning, at some tentage at some part of ecp before dawn...yawnnn...it was the saucony 100plus PAssion Run (what a longgggg name) whicb we were helping out so that means many cans of 100plus were drank and being the ever hardworking RAG members, we went our ways to 'retrieve' 3 trashbags full of cans of which i brought home to wash...

all thanks to my mum that this workload is much lighter...its horrible trying to wash 400 plus cans..many thanks to my mum who did much of the work...this is how it looked lk now at one corner of my house....


it looked so much more than i've expected...well really hope these cans will come of use...

jel; 9:39 pm

Saturday, June 7

Just to share one part of my weekly reflections:

During the journey back home yest, as I was chatting with some dancers on the bus, an incident sparked one of them to ask me if God was teaching me patience (well its true also) and he happened to mention abt a dialogue in Evan Almighty about how God will provide opportunities in order for one to learn something he has prayed for instead of just granting it directly. Well, in this case, it was an opportunity provided for me to learn patience through the incident as I've been praying for. More importantly, i related this to what I've been praying for during the past weeks for God to teach me about security in myself and my satisfaction in life in my relationship with God, not Man. I realized even through the various incidents i've experienced recently, those were not necessary the devil's works trying to destroy me but I see them in a new light as opportunities for me to learn and test my security in myself and satisfaction in life. Well, i would say I handled it better now than before, but now I pray that there wld be more opportunities such that one day, instead of being affected and destroyed by similar incidents, I can proclaim that I'm secure and satisfied in who God is in me!

jel; 12:32 am

Friday, June 6

i finally passed my driving test yest!! Thank God for His grace and mercy! I simply couldn't believe I passed my driving test yest...it really came at a shock for me..in fact, the odds are working against me..i only had two driving lessons after a 8-months hiatus, i did terribly bad during the pre-test refresher..it has been quite a torturous period of learning driving and having to keep postponing the test...finally the whole thing is over!!!

i thank God for answering my prayers of not having to spend so much on driving..cause i could only booked two lessons although i had more but the instructor had no more available slots..but i thank God that was sufficient for me, for He knows my needs and the plans for me :) I give all credit to Him for being able to pass the test for i know i wld not have made it without Him!

jel; 8:43 am

Monday, June 2

has been some days since my last post...had wanted to post on various issues during the past few days but ended up being caught doing other things...i guess its the end of the week as i'm writing this...went through a roller-coaster ride of emotional feelings for the past few days but i'm glad the week has ended for i believe monday marks the start of a new week, a new beginning!

wouldn't share so much right now, quite tired too but just a simple prayer request which sums up whats i've been going through recently: i pray that God will bless opportunities for friends (new, old ones, simply anyone who knows me) to get to know who Jelvin is, to value and treasure Jelvin as a friend for who he really is :)

jel; 12:31 am