Sunday, April 22


yest after bible study while we were going for dinner, john stated this remark: "you looked kinda tired these few weeks"...well, it was just a passing comment but it meant more to me...i reflected upon those words...i may not realize it but that may just be the state which i was for the past few weeks...unaware of it, i may have just seemed weared out during the past weekends, weared out by the chores accumulated weekdays..maybe i just could not even take a gd break or rest during weekends..cause my mind will be filled with thoughts/preparations for the work on the following week...so week after week, the cycle repeats and my mind just could not be put to rest...i need a really gd break....and yest while marking the test papers, i got pretty upset/frustrated/disappointed....skills which i've painstakingly taught lessons after lessons still did not get through to a lot of them...although i've spent countless times explaining concepts to them, many still commit the same mistakes during the second test...i didn't count the first test because the results were rather bad...and while i'm marking the second one, the same mistakes occur again in many scripts, which should not have been..and i ask myself: whose fault is it? have i not spent enough time to empahsize and ensure everyone knows what to do? it brought weight down upon me...and maybe thats why during bible study, i didn't seem particularly uplifting and john prob spotted that...but during tribe metting in the evening, pastor called out for prayers for those who needs assurance of the Lord's love...and although i didn't raise my hands for it, but the Lord knows this is what i needed at that moment of time and timothy came to pray for me...what he prayed for was what i needed most at that moment of time...the assurance of His love for me...that because of His love, i do not need to be in self-accusation, blaming myself for everything....i stand secure in the Lord...and thank God for restoration of the heart, that i do not need to indulge in self-accusation which will not bring abt any gd out of it...furthermore, i was in a better state of mind to be able to handle how i shld convey my intention to them when i return the paper...not through hard scolding which i had initially intented, but through letting them understand my intention behind my actions and words...i felt so much comforted after that, that my life is once again realigned to the right track and my heart can be filled with the right spirit to face situations again...

jel; 10:23 pm