Friday, June 30

was looking through some europe travel brochures a few days ago...i have this desire to go europe ever since i wanted to try skiing...eurpe has always been my dream trip...and i want it to be a fruitful trip, being able to visit many parts of europe, not rushing through the tour and simply to stay there for a longer period of time..but i guess that wld mean i wun be able to visit in the near future since budget doesn't allow me to...i'm definitely be sure that the first time i ever get to visit europe would be a fulfilling one....

just some of the places in europe that i desire to visit...


the famous louvre museum....became more famous in recent times due to the da vinci code...




there are simply too many places to visit in europe and i guess at least 20 days are needed to visit some of those parts of europe....well, europw will still remain a dream till the day i get to go....well, at least now i'm planning to go on a trip to taiwan in sept...hopefully, i can save enough by may/june next yr to go on another trip....thinking of australia/korea/japan/u.s.? and who knows, i may just get to go to europe...

jel; 11:18 pm

Sunday, June 25

jel; 8:26 pm

today mark the end of my one week of block leave..how fast time passes just when u were enjoying it...to think that i was looking forward to it for so long and now its over...but there's no regret cause i thought this entire period was spent rather meaningfully...just a recap of the main events of the week...

fri-sun: tribe camp
mon-tue: shopping at orchard, bugis
wed: karaoke cum birthday celebration @ kbox
thur: bbq gathering
fri: baptism

anw, looking forward to going back camp...not because i truly enjoy life there..just wanna get tog with some other campmates which i didn't have a chance to meet during block leave...and also to get through with the remaining days left in camp...its abt 120+days left to go...here are some photos from the bbq....

s3 branch...the branch with the best nsf pple inside...i wldn't know how life in brigade wld be lk w/o u guys....
i realised kevin and i are the only ones in the photo who hasn't ord yet...but nvm, in 4 mths plus time...

jel; 8:05 pm

Saturday, June 24

God knows what's in your heart
and what you need before you ask
Even when you
don't know for sure, God knows,
because He know you.
He knows the outcome of every situation,
and He's guiding you
even when you might feel
that you have lost your way.
He knows how much you can bear,
and He will give strength
and fill you with His grace
and blessings
as He walks with you
every step of the way

these verses are from the card that candice gave me yest before my baptism...and i was reading through the words that she wrote the second time...i was very touched by her words each time i read it...once again, i'm very much encouraged to see her growth in Christ...and i just wanna encourage her to continue to grow and mature...

and this is what one of our purpose in life is..to win lives, consolidate them and finally to send them to win more souls...this is a point of time where i no longer is a spiritual baby...i'm a role model for those who look up to me as one..but i'm still constantly learning at the same time...the journey is getting tougher now but as of what the last few verses of the card are, He knows how much you can bear and He will give strength and fill you with His grace and blessings....

jel; 11:29 pm

Friday, June 23

23 June 2006

such a significant date of my life...in fact, its the start of my new life, a day when my past died and i resurrected with a new life..this is the new me, one which i'm proud of...

The Meaning of Baptism
3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. -Romans 6:3-4

this is me preparing for my baptism..getting excited over it...finally, this is the day that i've been looking forward to for so long and i really have to thank the Lord for allowing this day to happen for me...to receive blessings from my mum was a tough one but the Lord indeed did not forsake me in this obstacle that i had...

we had to go up stage to proclaim who jesus is to us...mine was "jesus is my source of courage and comfort".....

this photo is a bit dark but it is a pic of me getting baptized by kenneth and a pastor (can't rmb his name)...indeed this is THE moment, to be baptized in the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit...


this is me and my dearest mum...dun u think we simply looked great tog?...i thought this photo is so fabulously taken..it was simply my greatest desire to see my mum present today to witness my baptism...i was very touched by her presence and blessings for me....and did i mention that she made it in time for this baptism service? thank you Lord...

i really wanna thank daniel and jian ming for showing their support for me today...i really appreciated their effort to come down, esp jm who managed to come down despite not being able to initially...thanks man...trust and believe in what you have been experiencing right now...He's right here by your side to guide you through and give u the answer you need...

oh kenneth..so excited that he could be here today to baptize all of us from the bandofbrothez...being the spiritual father of the bandofbrothez, he has guided lots of us when we were spiritual babies, to pass down his legacy and to continue this bandofbrothez spirit!..hmmm, somehow i thought our smiles are quite similar, dun you think?

my baptism certificate...a black and white paper to document my rebirth into the kingdom of God...

my gift from kenneth..somehow i wanted to buy this book some time back but was holding back..i guess this is the reason why i held back...books are great gifts for me, esp a gd read which i want...
this gift is so special...this pic is taken during their mt k trip and is the exact same pic which i used for my comp's wallpaper and my msn display pic! its my fav pic from all the scenery photos which i saw....oh my, what can i say? this pic is really meant for me..haha

i also lk to thank chinn yee for the gift and candice for coming before the service esp to pray for me and for the card..although u can't be there during service, but i appreciate your spiritual support...prob i'll come down for yours next time instead ya?...to my bandofbrothez: thank you for coming down in full force to support..this is what family is all abt...and also to those of bros who were baptized with me, we were reborn on the same day..yeah!...let the bandofbrothez continue to grow, to do the will of Him as we commit this cell to Him...

just lk what my msn nick is today, i really feel blessed today...everything that has happened today were all under the control of the Lord and He has made this day very special for me...nothing more can describe the excitement and joy i had today...i really have to say this another time..thank Lord for everything...today mark the date of a new me and the start of many more miracles and challenges ahead as i walk this eternal journey tog with Jesus, the forever Lord and Saviour! Amen

jel; 11:31 pm

i finished reading "man and boy" while travelling ard today...there was a part which i read where the dad asked his son a question pending to a divorce with his son..."so son, who do you want to stay with? your dad or your mum?"...and i rmb my mum asked me this same question years ago when i was still young..probably ard same age as the boy...but i didn't answer the question at that time...somehow, the decision was made....i was lost at that point when i was asked this question..somehow i didn't feel that i needed to answer that question or be asked in the first place...i dun want to be the situation where i need to make this decision...

in the story, the dad eventually forgo the residential rights of his son cause he doesn't want his son to a victim in the midst of the lawsuit and most importantly, he knows he needs to let go if he really loved his son...and i really ponder..was it the situation for me to? that i need not make the decision in the end cause my dad gave up his custody of his children?...well at least the boy had the assurance from both his parents that they loved him and he received equal attention from both parents in the end...did my dad let go cause he loved me and doesn't want me to be a victim of the divorce? i wldn't be able to find out the answer..i nv know my dad and there's no vivid impression of him but i choose to believe that he did it for the beneficial of both my mum and me...

in every story, there's always a happy ending..thats because readers love to read happy endings, partly to make up for the less-than-happy life that they are leading..its a general statement but neverheless, its true to a certain extent...and for me, although its not the best ending that could happen from a divorce, i've not lived a regretful life...i've since learnt to live life independent of my father's love...and i wld proudly say, the love of God is above all love in this world...a love that heals wounds and hurts...

how says happy endings only occur in stories? our lives can have happy endings as long as we choose to believe in Him, our Lord and Saviour...

jel; 12:35 am

i finished reading "man and boy" while travelling ard today...there was a part which i read where the dad asked his son a question pending to a divorce with his son..."so son, who do you want to stay with? your dad or your mum?"...and i rmb my mum asked me this same question years ago when i was still young..probably ard same age as the boy...but i didn't answer the question at that time...somehow, the decision was made....i was lost at that point when i was asked this question..somehow i didn't feel that i needed to answer that question or be asked in the first place...i dun want to be the situation where i need to make this decision...

in the story, the dad eventually forgo the residential rights of his son cause he doesn't want his son to a victim in the midst of the lawsuit and most importantly, he knows he needs to let go if he really loved his son...and i really ponder..was it the situation for me to? that i need not make the decision in the end cause my dad gave up his custody of his children?...well at least the boy had the assurance from both his parents that they loved him and he received equal attention from both parents in the end...did my dad let go cause he loved me and doesn't want me to be a victim of the divorce? i wldn't be able to find out the answer..i nv know my dad and there's no vivid impression of him but i choose to believe that he did it for the beneficial of both my mum and me...

in every story, there's always a happy ending..thats because readers love to read happy endings, partly to make up for the less-than-happy life that they are leading..its a general statement but neverheless, its true to a certain extent...and for me, although its not the best ending that could happen from a divorce, i've not lived a regretful life...i've since learnt to live life independent of my father's love...and i wld proudly say, the love of God is above all love in this world...a love that heals wounds and hurts...

how says happy endings only occur in stories? our lives can have happy endings as long as we choose to believe in Him, our Lord and Saviour...

jel; 12:35 am

Wednesday, June 21

still in the process of inviting friends for the service and awaiting for their confirmation...as much as i wld lk all those friends of mine to come, it'll be selfish to expect them all to turn up all by means..yes, this baptism means very much to me but i'm sure those who could not make it have their reasons and wld sincerely wished they could come...i understand that they have their difficulties in coming and i believe they would give me their blessings even with their absence...

now i really pray my mum can make it down in time cause this week she is bound by certain work commitments...i'm glad my spiritual family will be present on fri to witness..without their guidance and encouragement, i wldn't be able to come thus far....

now i'm awaiting for confirmations from some of my friends...i'll be excited if they can make it too...

jel; 9:19 am

Tuesday, June 20

(pic from teck horng)

Are feeling lost in the direction of your life?
Are you stuck in a difficult situation in which you can't handle?
Are you losing the motivation for what you've been striving for ?

Seek the answer which you've been looking for and experience the peace and comfort which you well-deserved....Come and experience this rest this coming sunday, a weekend we call the miracle catch....Be part of this life-changing experience, a combination of the renewing of mind and refreshing of your soul....

This is not an advertisement or a desparate attempt to reach out to others, but an heart-felt invitation to all those out there to experience what i've went through a year plus back...in which a lost soul finds his purpose in life and have the confidence and determination to persevere what he believes in....leave a tag or simply just contact me if u know me personally...

May you receive the rest and comfort that you have always desire...

jel; 10:51 pm

bought a few books these 2 days..somehow i'm willing to spend the money when it comes to books...now the list of books waiting for me to read is even longer, but i hope i can finish them all before i ord...
was introduced to this author through his latest book "The Broker" (although i haven read that)..seems lk a gd read...
the first of a series of books which i'm planning to read from james patterson...he collaborated with various other authors to write a series of many books and this book is written tog with andrew gross...
the sequel to "man and boy" which i'm going to finish very soon..planning to read this right after that so as to have a continuity...i really enjoyed "man and boy" so i'm hoping this wld be an equally gd read...

my passion for fiction books seem to grow these few months as compared to the past where i almost shunned them...but i guess i need to find more space now for these books as my collection grows at the same time...

jel; 9:26 pm

These are some photos taken by some of my tribe members during their mt k trip....didn't have the opportunity to go but luckily there's lots of gd memories of photos taken and i particularly appreciated the beauty of nature...as we stand in awe of the wonders of God's creation, let us not forget to thank Him for the environment that He has created for us....


notice the rainbow?


my favourite photo

jel; 12:30 am

Monday, June 19

THE APPLE CART

A few years ago, a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago. The convention lasted all week, and all the salesmen had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner.

As they hurried to the airport to catch their return flight, they rushed down the airport's corridor with their briefcases in hand. In their rush, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples.

Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all continued running so they would make their plane.

All but one.

He stopped after running a few more yards, took a deep breath, and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned.

He told his buddies to go on without him, waved goodbye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight. Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor.

He was glad he did.

The 16 year old girl running the apple cart was totally blind. She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one stopping and no one to care for her plight.

The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display.

As he did this, he noticed that many of the apples had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket.

When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, "Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?"

She nodded through her tears.

He continued on with, "I hope we didn't spoil your day too badly."

As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, "Mister....."

He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes.

She continued, "Are you Jesus?"

He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered. Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: "Are you Jesus?"

Do people mistake you for Jesus?

That's our call, is it not? To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell the difference as we live and interact with a world (shopping, working, reacting to others that are serving us) that is blind to His love, life and grace.

If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would.

Knowing Him is more than simply quoting Scripture and going to church. It's actually living the Word as life unfolds day to day.

You are the apple of His eye even though we, too, have been bruised by a fall. He stopped what He was doing and picked you and me up on a hill called Calvary and paid in full for our damaged fruit.

Let us live like we are worth the price He paid.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

--Author Unknown

jel; 11:11 pm

Sunday, June 18

just came back from tribe camp...and i experienced one miracle from the Lord the moment i came back...my internet connection was down for 2 weeks (that explains the lack of update)..and i felt pretty handicapped w/o being able to use during the weekends..i was wondering why the connection will fail out of a suddem..but just last week, i figured the Lord meant to teach me smthng through this...then during the camp, i realised that i desparately need to use the internet for some admin stuff n i figured out i'll have to do smthng abt it next week if its still spoilt when i come back..at the same time, i had a convenant with the Lord..i had learnt the lesson that He has taught me and i'll fulfill the promise that i had made if the internet connection is back again...it really shocked me when i came back that indeed, He has not failed me and rmbed the convenant that He has with me...thats why i really thank God that i have this opportunity now even to blog this entry as well as the previous entry...

back to events of the tribe camp...its a combined tribe camp comprising my tribe, SJ tribe as well as JB tribe at first toa payoh sec sch...i missed out on fri's activities due to camp commitments...but sat was really a fulfilling and evening day...it was an opportunity to know more pple not only those from my tribe but esp those from JB tribe...i really thank God for the grp that i was placed in...i was able to engage in hearty conversations with many of the new friends...joshua chong, serene, audrey, marcus, wei rong, murphy, weiling...although the games were the usual camp games (which can be quite turned off at times) but somehow i find myself enjoying the entire combined tribe activity...partly, it can due to the great chemistry that my grp shared...and most imptly, i know this is a family activity, where we play and enjoy ourselves as one family...it was really a different experience from the past camp activities that i've taken part in...

and from this onwards, the chemistry i had with the individual grp menbers developed..esp those from SJ tribe in my grp...nv had chances to meet pple from the tribe during service but it was indeed many wonderful moments spent with them..they are a different category grp of pple which i had little opportunity to mix with usu in church...and it surprised me when we got along so well through the 2 days that i kinda missed them when they had to leave for choir duty and was even hoping the duration of the camp was longer...there is the cute little marcus, adorable in his actions and looks...his caring, charismatic "babysitter" serene...audrey, the girl who doesn't look lk she's 23 today (happy birthday, girl!)...murphy, the boy whose appetite is justifed by his puberty growth and nv fails to humour us with his quirky remarks...joshua chong, the first person i know in fcbc who stays in bishan...it was actually amazing in the sense that through this camp, i get to know a lot of pple who stays in the bishan/amk area where in the past, everyone seemed to stay in the east/north-east region...its just a reminder that part of my spiritual family is just nearby in my area...

during one of the lessons, ps belinda mentioned abt how God is faithful in our lives, that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear...we have control over all our sins and problems and all these can be overcomed through the Lord..i guess that was a strong reminder for all the stuff that i went through those weeks..that i need not give up or surrender cause i have the ability to handle all these as long as i have the faith...and its also a reminder that i need not be fearful of future challenges...during the ministry yest night, the Lord has brought upon me a higher level of peace which i thought i wld nv have experienced...for the past few weeks, i've experienced a roller-coaster ride of emotions and i felt extremely unstable and vulnerable...but during that time, all i need is to surrender all of myself and commit to the Lord, to have total dependency on Him..there is no need to seek answers/solutions to all the questions...it'll cause stress instead...His peace will be with me at all times as long as i believe and have trust in Him..that was a valuable lesson which i have experienced that allowed me to be refreshed once again to continue to conquer the kingdom for Him...

there are many testimonies for this camp and its nv enough to list but all these testimonies are reasons why i am here in the camp and these are lessons that the Lord wants me to go through...i guess through this camp, emphasis is also not abt our both individual tribes, but tog as one family, we conquer multitudes and spread His love and glory...it was a great unity during this camp and also a rare opportunity but i do hope for future opportunities to get tog, esp those new friends i get to know those this camp, that the end of the camp wld only mean the start of lasting friendships to come...

jel; 7:41 pm

Sunday, June 11

Its amazing how the Lord uses circumstances ard you to teach you the lessons that He has meant for u to learn...An entire string of events happened today...After a quiet time with the Lord, i realised what i need to reflect and learn abt is not abt the events that actually happened...the focus wasn't abt to reason out who's at fault but more imptly, its the lessons that lie beneath the surface that the Lord was trying to teach me..these were lessons that i wld not have learned if the Lord wasn't there to guide me through...

My mind is clear now..He has pointed out a few areas of my life which i need to be wary of and i've decided to surrender these areas to the Lord..just as what lance told me,"to surrender everything that is pulling me down"...with these burdens now passed to the Lord, i feel much light-hearted now...having not let the situation take control over me, instead having the ability to take control of the situation through the Lord..

thought of sharing this with all of u today just so as not to rob the Lord of His glory and the work that He has done through me...thank you Lord for the lesson learnt today..

jel; 9:23 pm

Saturday, June 3

10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request. -1 Chronicles 4:10

As what Ps Khong preached about the Jabez prayer, when one seeks to enlarge the territory, the devil will be wary of your doings and set obstacles to discourage oneself. What i really need now is to overcome all these obstacles set before me. Of course, its not possible without the strength and help from the Lord, to go through this period together with me. This would be tough especially when I have to handle various commitments at the same time but all these would be possible to overcome as long as I believe and seek in Him to keep me protected from any harm and pain. Only then can i focus on conquering the territory that the Lord has given me.

i was reading through the baptism testimonies of my brothers and i was particularly touched by some testimonies of how the Lord has saved and changed them. It brought me to a higher level of understanding of them as i learnt of their past and their salvation journey with the Lord. I'm really looking forward to gettting baptised tog with my bros...its on 23 june, 7pm at tct...come and witness our baptism..i'm excited to share this moment with all my loved ones and friends...

have a line-up of events for the next few weeks..first up is night cycling next sat...i guess after the exercise next week, i'll be able to put more focus and devote more time in my personal spiritual growth...there's this dying thirst for His words which is waiting to be quenched....

jel; 9:19 pm

Friday, June 2

i was waiting for my bus home just now and was getting pretty impatient for the long wait..i only managed to book out at 9 plus, had a very late dinner after that (was famish by then) and i'm anxious to get home asap but the bus just refused to arrive....then, just at that moment, i just felt my emotions being let loose...it could not handle how i was feeling at that spur of the moment..

perhaps its the stress that i had being building up...the last blow of stress coming from the anxiety of trying to reach home...i began to recall the events of this week...it seemed quite well..i was able to handle the situation ard me despite facing difficulties...but maybe i was too busy to fully absorb the full implications of the stress or maybe its because i was alone and i need not put on a brave front...

its being the same situation that i've being facing for the past few weeks...but this third consecutive week in a row is wearing us out mentally...furthermore, as the date to the exercise gets nearer, the situation worsens.....being faced with last minute changes and last minute tasks, shortage of manpower, overstretching of manpower, overloading of job tasks, indecisive minds...and sometimes, people in the lower ranks suffer as a result of all these actions by the higher ranks...i've been talking to thomas abt the situation he's facing in this camp and i've been advising him, giving encouragement to him...and just now i realised i'm not free from problems and i too need the encouragement to pull through...

i had enough of talking abt the same situation i'm facing in camp..i've mentioned in a previous entry not to let my mind be overwhelmed entirely by this, but today i'm simply forced to recall all these on my way home...it more of a reflection for me than something which is bothering me....and it just allowed me to calm my feelings down as i recalled how by the grace of God, He has provided me the strength and encouragement to pull through the week...i wldn't have gone throught this week the way i did if it wasn't for the trust and belief i had in Him...

something which i shared with thomas which has helped me as a reminder....the world doesn't centre ard me...its all abt others, how i put others before myself and allow this perspective to sink into me...no matter how undesirable the situation is and how much sacrifice you need to make, ultimately its how i nv surrender to the situation but instead to allow the situation to strengthen my believes and allows me to grow stronger....

sunday is the start of the exercise...the start of everything that we have been preparing for...and i'll let my faith to bring me through the situation i need to handle...

jel; 11:59 pm