Friday, February 27
Heard this song from AMI on wed..lk her performance..opps, can't rmb whats her name...
"All By Myself"
When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
When I dial the telephone
Nobody's home
All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
And loves so distant and obscure
Remains the cure
All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
All by myself
Anymore
When I was young
I never needed anyone
Making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
Oh
Don't wanna live
By myself, by myself
Anymore
By myself
Anymore
Oh
All by myself
Don't wanna live
I never, never, never
Needed anyone
jel; 3:34 pm
Review of this week: 3 tests in a week sure wasn't an enjoyable experience...the last time i had so many tsts was probably in sec sch days where there may be even up to 3 tests in a day....so glad this week is finally over...but this weekend is going to be horrible cause there's lotsa of work to be done...lucky there isn't any tests nxt week...but common test is coming up...argh....
spent much time trying to transfer my past entries over here....can give me comments abt the new layout? dun really lk it...
jel; 3:25 pm
Monday, February 23
Fusion 04
Just an update on what happened yesterday after I typed my blog…received a call from huilin in the evening…told me that mich was so stressed at in rehearsals that she broke down…so obviously I had to do smthng…can’t make it in time for the performance, so decided to go down after everything ends…went to get flower and card for her..and a bar of chocolate for hl for informing me…wldn’t elaborate on the hussle and tussle I’ve been through just to get the flower and card done…
Reached there at 9+…was early cause hl told me it’ll end at ten..just so happened that I met yujie outside the entrance..wondering whats he doing there…then realize he’s waiting for his turn to perform…and just so happened that mich was in the audience too to accompany him when she’s usu backstage..gave her a surprise and u couldn’t imagine her expression when she saw me…how in the world wld she expect to see me there…haha..to yj: you’re definitely not a lightbulb…you’re suppose to be there..haha…
Stayed to watch the performance…lucky I came just in time for yj’s performance..miss it at talentime…was great cause his voice is gd..but the funny part was when his ‘fan club’ tried an unsuccessful attempt to cover him up when he cldn’t hit the high note…guess the other audience didn’t see through the trick..haha…after the performance ended, a few pple were obviously shocked to see me there cause I didn’t appear in the 1st half…talked to hl…shall not say much but some pple do need more help and guidance over some matters..want to help out but can’t do much too…haha, but I got the number!
Hope my presence there that night had comforted you much…glad that its over and it’s a success right? All the hard part had paid off and I think u pple deserve it..after all that rehearsals and stress been through….
Oh ya..today they had dialogue session with mrs cheng, tog with 2 other classes..she wanted us to start the conversation, then someone raised a pt abt smthng which i think shldn't be done...i can't say what it is cause its suppose to be confidential..there's too much generalisation in the arguments cause not everyone agrees to the point..this is going to be bad...she said she's going to deal with it..wonder what will happen..hope the matter is not going to blow up..have been through it once in pri sch and another in sec sch, were terrible experiences..why do i always have to go through this....argh..
jel; 3:18 pm
Sunday, February 22
Disappointing Weekend
Its one of the most terrible weekends that I’ve ever gone through..this weekend was supposed to be quite fun, with ac funfair, talentime and fusion….planned to go for talentime and fusion since a long time ago but didn’t want to go to ac cause I dun know many pple down there….but regretted not going now cause didn’t know my best friend went there…
Worst thing was supposed to go for talentime but none of my class going (except for one who’s going with cca friends) and for obvious reasons, u shld know why…they wldn’t be bothered abt such sch events but nvm, since I think the hype ard nj’s talentime is not there too, so decided to give it a miss this yr although I enjoyed myself at last yr’s event…
Now left with fusion…since the tix is more exp and its not held in sch, wld u think my class wld go? Furthermore we need to go sch the next day and there’s chem test (which everyone treats it with utmost importance)…thus I didn’t even bother asking my class pple…what really frustrates me is that pple would even reject a free tix! Can’t believe it..there are 100+ pple in nj who is willing to pay 10 bucks for a tix and there are some who wldn’t even want to go for free! And the worst thing is, most of them gave the reason that they have work to do..argh…really can’t stand it…I mean its not wrong if they really have work to do and is too busy to go, but I’m sure everyone has work to do….i know its not the ‘right’ behaviour to put sch work and aside, but this is smthng abt sch spirit…now there are pple representing nj in a charity concert and nj has the most representation out of all the schs…shldn’t the reason be enuff for us to show our support?…really disappointed with the rejections..i’m really amazed how many pple can reject the offer…till the point that I didn’t expect much from the last few pple whom I’ve tried to contact…personally, the feeling when others make u pin high hopes on them and then crush it down is terrible..many of them have expressed interest and then rejected..the obvious reason? U shld know by now….i’m very disappointed at the fact that none of the friends I’m closer to are supportive enuff to go with me..dun tell me my gd friends are just a grp of pple who simply live to study? Or study to live? The 3 tests nxt week didn’t help the situation too…shld I be disheartened or what? Is this how my ideal friends are supposed to be?……I mean I can just simply go alone and join in any group of nj pple whom I know..but seriously speaking, u wld want to go with ur close friends rite? And after all that disappointment, I guess I didn’t have the mood too…
To the one who gave me that pair of free tix, really apologetic for not going…know u went through much in order to get those tix and wld really want me to be there…can’t give u my support….
jel; 12:57 pm
Friday, February 20
Bio Prac
Early day today..didn't feel lk going home, so followed my friends to sigma lab as they are doing their bmore...now at sigma lab comp typing this..
Yesterday's bio prac was horrible...mrs khoo was lk nagging away while we were doing our bio prac..she was practically finding faults with what we were doing when there wasn't any in the first place...although all along she was already lk that, yesterday's lesson was one of the worst, i cld say...she was just nagging away..argh...then at the end of the prac, she counted to ten and when no one handed up the prac paper to her, she refused to mark our papers. The fact was we didn't know that she wanted us to hand up after the count of ten..we thought it was to stop writing..then she said she wun give us any prac nxt week till we behave..then the whole class was lk so pissed off with her...some of us even wanted to write a petition and give all her classes to sign it so as to do smthng before our bio grades get affected...i dun think that idea will be feasible so we'll prob anger her further when the matter is blown up...gosh...anyway, for thoday's tutorial, she explained to us her actions for doing so.....but still, no one was happy with what she did yesterday...
feeling very empty these few days..sigh, wish this period will pass by quickly...
jel; 11:12 am
Wednesday, February 18
Farewell
Today was supposed to be our class’s first meeting with our junior class during contact…didn’t plan anything..haha..thought we were going to be in a lost when they come over…when they came over, Candice was lk telling us that she was so pissed off with them cause they were reluctant to come up ot our class and was so unethu abt meeting us and she had a hard time persuading them…they all came in to our class and then after a while, dun know for what reason, suddenly they had to go watch dunno what movie and left! They just stepped in and then left w/o even any introduction! Caan’t believe them…we were all shocked…since they dun want it, then we are not going to bother abt them…
We had already cleared the tables for a space in the middle of the classroom and since they had left, we decided not to waste our efforts and someone suggested spending the rest of the time playing games as a class! Was quite a surprise esp when if its from my class..didn’t believe they were willing to sacrifice 1 hr of studying time to play, esp when a lot of them have not completed the chem. S assignment due that day…was quite fun playing the games with our civics class even w/o our junior class…seriously speaking, such stuff happen once in a blue moon for our class, when everyone have the time to gather as a class to do smthng…
Later there was miss kwa’s farewell concert…retiring tml…didn’t get to know her much cause she seldom makes appearances, therefore I agreed when they say she always take up unglamorous, behind-the-stage tasks during the concert…got to know so much abt her during the interviews and speech during the concert…was quite impressed abt her dedication towards the sch and her unselfishness and love….didn’t know there is still such a commendable educator ard nowadays…the fact that she had grow tog with nj all these yrs and witness the various events happening here during the decades..think she must have grown very attached to the sch….i think she is really worthy of our praises…now I feel bad at laughing at jokes abt her all these while..yr 2s shld know how mean some jokes are….just want to wish her all the best to her retirement! Kudos to u, ms kwa!
jel; 7:03 pm
Saturday, February 14
V Day
V day’s here! Haha..some may say that this yr’s v day wld be special for me but I really dun lk this day..too commercialized..everyone’s trying to profit out of it and the real meaning behind it is not there…well, but still have to celebrate it anw…
The sch has to fix this yr’s roadrun on this day..sian..and this morning, I arrived damn early to turf city cause I was driven there and couldn’t find anyone I know….bought a big bag of roses there too for my class girls, mich’s clique, Sparta ogls and some others…but I coldn’t find some of them, so couldn’t pass them their roses..sigh, such a pity…didn’t know that girls lk roses that much until I saw their smiles on their faces today when I gave them..haha…gave mich my present too..dun describe what it is but I’ll say its my masterpiece and I’m proud of it…made the girls jealous when mich opened it in front of them…the fun run wasn’t fun at all…shld have just taken part in the competitive run instead…sigh…
After roadrun, we went to watch last samurai cause she wanted to watch and we’ve heard everyone tok abt it…was gd as expected…then went to suntec to eat sakae sushi and just happen that the nj yep pple were there to give a presentation..went to give them support too..my sis was there too under another trip…shld not describe so much on what we did cause its bet the both of us..haha..realize suntec was a hot spot today for couples, lk ching and josh and another 2 pple whom I think its inconvenient to reveal here were there too…hope smthng wld come out of them after today..think they’re very compatible..wld become the lastest scandal liao..if u are reading this and know that its u I’m tokking abt: although I dun know whats going on behind the 2 of u, but just hope that whatever decision u make, u’ll be happy with it, k?
I can’t believe I spent abt $165 in total for this occasion…meal, roses, gift, movies…really terrible..that’s why I say it’s a gd day for pple to earn money…Although there’s nothing special today, but I do enjoy myself..hope u do too…was really touched by ur present..hehe…thanks a lot…shld not say too much here…some stuff are just not meant to be blogged…ciao
jel; 6:37 pm
Thursday, February 12
Thats My Class
Dun like thur cause there’s 2 practical sessions…sian…forgot to wear specs instead of contacts for chem. Prac but lucky there’re no gases involved today…bio prac was a drag for the whole class cause we could not stand the teacher..but she’s much better today, at least she didn’t nag at us throughout the whole prac lk last week…
Right after the last lesson bio prac, suddenly our civics tutor came in, could sense smthng was wrong from his expression…started off by showing our nil response for the competitive running for roadrun which he got back from mr low…was mad at us for our lack of enthusiasm for the competition…then started to lecture us on our lack of class spirit, change of attitude since we first came to nj and raked up all the examples of our poor conduct as a class…actually this isn’t the first time he told us that…rmb the first time he told us off was last yr’s ndc..cause our class displayed little support for hs activities..but the class didn’t seem to bother cause in the end, only a few of us took part..there were many examples and the latest one was when everyone didn’t bother much abt the ct reps wanted to discuss abt friendship bazaar..
Actually, I’ve already gotten used to the lack in class spirit since last may…class seemed to have drifted apart after 3mnths…everyone bothered abt their own stuff…such a large diff from 1st 3 mnths…had lotsa class outings, sentosa, bbq, ‘last’ dinner….and ever since the unofficial class outing in june…there isn’t another outing again, even in dec holi…dun even have a complete/partially complete class photo (except the one taken in sch)..can anyone believe that?….the class’s lack of enthusiasm sort of affected me, almost became a boring person too…that’s all after promos, I felt I had to get out of this and signed up as an ogl…wanted to get away with my class for a while and be tog with a whole new grp of pple…those days spent had given me a new meaning to sch life…
In the end, the lecture ended half an hr after our dismissal time and mrs khoo had to continue with her own lecture with us..argh…saw mich’s og after that and happened to meet someone from my junior class..was so shocked to find out he’s from s15..haha..told him that we had not meet up with them yet..lotsa class have done that already and its not surprising that we had not done that…haha, felt so bad, he also asked why they have not met us yet…their class is an s5 combi..happening…hope they wun be disappointed to find out that they have such a boring senior class…haha….nvm, going to meet them during this sat’s roadrun, can’t wait to see them…think they going to be enthu…
jel; 5:29 pm
Tuesday, February 10
Farewell Dinner
Sch’s as boring as usual..nothing exciting or different happened…just the usual lessons..had physics test and self-mark the paper on the spot…was satisfied with the results considering that I didn’t have time to prepare..most in class had ard the same marks, so wasn’t that bad…
Had a farewell dinner for our sec sch physics teacher at sizzler in toa payoh…long time since I’ve been there..love their egg mayo n ice-cream..9 of us turned up, xm, Jackie, yj, zj, yc, wj, hj, shawn and me and its considered one of the best turnups since sec sch..haha..haven’t done a gd job as a class monitor….been a long time since we gathered tog as a big grp..miss them…took some time to warm up and chat…then in the later part of the chat, we started tokking abt everything to do with cat high…principal, teachers’ pay, ip students, sch ranking and the new sch uniform and image…even tok abt the old times..had much laughter…sigh, felt the old cat high spirit come back in me…seems just yesterday that I just leave the sch yet now I’m already in j2…lots of stuff have changed since our batch had left the sch..
can still rmb my batch was the most ‘notorious’ batch…in terms of results and conduct, we were one of the worst ever…haha, and throughout the 4 yrs, we had left many records now but we were the batch which had experienced many firsts..BURST prog, 5-day sec2 camp, ndp mass display, chs fiesta…took away many beautiful memories from the sch with me….come to think of it, I’m still rather attached to the sch although it isn’t the best sch ard in town….the conversation had sort of brought back many happy memories and made us feel that we were back in 4-9 again…sad thing is we didn’t have many enjoyable times spent as a class…sad to say, 4-9 was the best class then (although I think otherwise) and academics was the priority…sometimes wish that I was in a diff situation where the class is more active and happening and the nxt sad thing is, I’m still in a almost similar class in jc…
all in all, really thought today was one of the better times spent after sch hours…had the much needed laughter and enjoyment….will rmb this meal…but felt bloated after the meal…we took some great pix there too..can’t wait for them to be sent to me then I can upload them…ciao
jel; 8:00 pm
Saturday, February 7
Down Memory Lane
Had this love matters thingy in the morning...quite rewarding i can say, at least after the seminar i can still rmb some important pointers...guess a lot of pple were put off by the abortion video..my sec 4 bio teacher had sort of shown us pic of these babies, so i still can accept the video, but was still emotionally moved by the scences whereby unborn babies weren't given a chance to live and experience the world for themselves...guess lotsa of pple wld have second thoughts of abortion from now on....
was damn sian after the talk cause its lk everybody was preoccupied with some stuff..couldn't find anything to do...in the end went with shi leng to yishun to his mum's bakery..miss the place where i've lived for 16 yrs..then we ended up walking down my memory lane...went to visit my pri sch building..started to recollect and bring back old memories..the innocent and stressful times spent then..strange though..now everything there look smaller in size, the covered linkway, classrooms, garden..maybe because of the fact that I’m much taller now..haha..miss lotsa stuff over there…then walk back the route where I used to walk back home during those days…such recollections of old times can really made one realize how fast time passes by..it seems yesterday that I’m walking down the lane……
then we passed by my flat that I’ve been staying for 16 yrs..didn’t bring the keys, so didn’t went up…sigh, the place has lotsa memories in it..happy and sad ones, wld be emotionally affected whenever I come back as the place wld remind me of an unhappy period but they all form part of my memories of my growing yrs anw….later we went to chong pang city where shi leng’s mum’s bajery is located..oh gosh, haven’t been here since I’ve moved back to bishan and the place has changed lots since then…was telling shi leng that some of those shops have being there since I was a child..guess that soon the place which I’m familiar with will be different…time really waits for no man….went to eat my favourite nasi lemak store there…miss it a lot man….had a long chat with shi leng too…
to shi leng: go for your heart’s desire, nv regret what u do…and thanks for walking down memory lane with me today and listening me rake up and crap abt my childhood memories…
received an sms from mich at night…understand what u’ve being going through for the past week…dun worry, I wun mind at all..real glad that u were frank and spoke up to me rgding it…hope that in future, if there’s anything, we’ll continue to be as open…and thanks loads!
jel; 7:38 pm
Thursday, February 5
Purpose In You
Hey, I added a new tagboard! Wanted to add for a long time but the stupid site just refuse to load…now there’s more interaction with my blog viewers….
Bio prac was horrible today..our bio teacher, mrs khoo kept scolding us for no reason…she’s so particular abt everything...we were instructed to measure 3 cm of water in the beaker and she even went ard measuring everyone’s water level…scolded pple with 2.5 cm and even for those with 3cm, she wanted more than 3..whats wrong? Then for the rest of prac, we were made to keep dead silent….guess classes under her wld have experienced how her lessons are….mr gerald yee isn’t in sch today and he didn’t assign any work…first time we enjoyed gp lessons! Haha…read abt yee ching’s blog abt her gp lesson..thought it was meaningful, so decided to extract it for more pple to read…hope u dun mind, ching J…
“gp today was so interesting. teacher questioned about our purpose.. it started like this :
we had to write the question and answer it and then question the answer.
socrates(the philosopher): why are you in tb21?
me: for gp lesson.
socrates: why do you go for the lesson?
me: it's in my timetable.
socrates: why is it in your timetable?
me: it's a sub tt i take.
socrates: why do you take the sub?
me: it's compulsory for university admission.
socrates: why do you want to enter u?
me: to get a degree.
socrates: why do you want a degree?
me: to get a good job.
socrates: why do you want to get a job?
me: to get money.
socrates: why do you need money
me: to survive.
socrates: why do you need to survive?
i stopped there.. and it was time up. looking back, it would be so hard to answer that question.. why do we need to survive?? now that i think of it, the best ans tt i can think of is.. I SURVIVE FOR GOD, MY FRIENDS, AND MY FAMILY.
Have you ever questioned your purpose? it's time for me to rethink again.. it's only when we have a purpose then we can live life for it rite? why is the whole world, education system so materialistic that my answer to socrates's question is so similiar to all others in the gp class…..”
Guess that exercise could really make us reflect on our purpose in life…realized recently that more pple are getting paranoid abt their purpose..maybe becos this yr is yr 2 and we’ll be moving on to a diff phase of our life nxt life…esp now that the pace of j2 life is fast, a lot of us wld be confused and lose their way in life…have heard many talks and seminars where lecturers been telling us to find our purpose in life so as to make it meaningful…but I guess sometimes its just could be harder than expected, esp when we are made to grow up in this society…I’m not here to give a lecture on the finding ur purpose, just hope to remind u pple out there to take a step out of ur busy schedule and reflect on the meaning of ur existence….
Tml will be a short day…wldn’t want weekend to come cause I can foresee the load of stuff that I need to complete…and love matters seminar this sat too……ciao
jel; 3:26 pm
Tuesday, February 3
Different Identity
didn't want to blog actually but since i'm online to read some blogs, might as well write something...
felt so gd in sch today cause i went sch prepared for 4 tutorials ...completed what i'm supposed to do, therefore didn't have any stress or worries...but that was a hard price to pay...forced myself to stay at home for the long break just to finish up all those stuff...was just a painful experience...but at least now i finally feel glad to be able to catch up with the class for the 1ST time this yr...very satisfied over my achievement....but the work keeps plying up and its nv-ending! argh....
well, felt different in sch today..haha..someone shld know...still feel funny over it...having a different identity...haha..trying to get over that fact...shld not reveal too much here...well. hope everything will turn out fine...:)shall end off here...
jel; 3:48 pm
Sunday, February 1
Privacy
Nothing to say abt myself for the past 2 days cause i've being a boring person since..no mood to do anything else....kinda of feeling dull and listless...not too sure too...
just realised that more and more pple are beginning to lock their blogs or shift it to another site or start questioning the privacy of the diaries...felt funny at first that since its an open diary, u shld not be hesitant to letting others read ur diary....now that i realise that more and more pple are reading my blog, i began to feel how they had felt...no offense to those reading this, but i began to feel restrained and hold back details abt stuff i really want to put down...guess that nowadays, u seldom get to read private stuff in unlocked blogs...well, i'll just see how's it going first before i decide on anything...
just glad that some matters are settled...finally got to get it out of my heart..feeling much better now..will not wish to predict the future and i guess some stuff are beyond my control...wld have written down everything if this is locked...*sigh*-privacy-
jel; 1:19 pm
